We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
