His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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