Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
