I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
