I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I stole a fireplace last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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