i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Enjoy the penises
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
