After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
