It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
