He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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