I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How external is "for external use only"?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
