Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
