i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
