Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
