I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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