Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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