Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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