the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize