how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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