are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
