Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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