i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
