The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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