The maid of honor just puked.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
