i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
