I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
