the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
