The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
