Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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