don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
