Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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