i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
