What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
