It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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