My nipple is on Facebook.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
