ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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