oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
