4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
