I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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