I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Enjoy the penises
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
