Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you made out with another girl for some wings
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
