Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
