DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
