Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
