Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
