she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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