this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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