I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
