Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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