he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
