try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
