ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
