i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
